Anti-Paul Thurrott

Webkit is a lie, because I refuse to believe it isn’t.

Posted in Uncategorized by admin on June 4, 2010

There, I said it, just as I have a thousand of other times – Webkit is a lie. As a matter of fact, Gecko is also a lie. And so is whatever shitty browsing core that Opera is using these days. Basically, if it isn’t Trident, which the incredibly powerful, secure, and flexible Internet Explorer browser runs on.

To prove my assertion that Webkit is a lie, I have recently gone above and beyond my line of duty on my Winsupersite latest blog post, where I fail to understand the difference between a difference in font anti-aliasing (the native Windows font anti-aliasing, which Google Chrome is using, and Apple’s own anti-aliasing) and the browser rendering engine known as Webkit.

So there you have it, just as I said, Webkit is a lie. What? You still don’t understand how? Then fuck you, asshole. I’m right and I’m Paul Thurrott.

I hate Prius drivers and Whole Foods shoppers.

Posted in Uncategorized by admin on June 1, 2010

I, Paul Thurrott, on, say:

The iPad is a new type of computing device, just as Apple claimed. It offers a premium user experience for certain kinds of tasks only, and comes with a premium price to match. It is aimed at those consumers who wish to send a message to others, much like Prius drivers or Whole Foods shoppers.

Because let’s face it: nobody likes these guys. These are the sort of iPad owning, iMac operating, Microsoft hating hipsters I can’t stand. These are the type of people that look to aid the environment, these are the type of people who care about the crap that they put into their bodies. These are the type of motherfuckers who like to help the little guys and truly believe that, sometimes, they can produce some extraordinary products and the type of people who ignore the hard, cold truth: that the big guys are big for a reason, because they know what’s best.

Stick to your Prius and Whole Foods, and I’ll stick to my Hummer and McDonalds.

Apple sells 2 million iPads, color me un-fucking-impressed.

Posted in Uncategorized by admin on June 1, 2010

Wired says:

In “less than 60 days”, Apple has shifted two million iPads. If you remember, it took just 28 days to sell the first million, so it doesn’t look like sales are slowing down much yet. In fact, it seems like Apple could have offloaded a lot more if only it could make them fast enough.

Well that sounds all fine and dandy and great, right? Apple’s iPad is a huge runaway success and everyone wants to make love to it and secretly dresses up in iPad jammies every night before going to sleep, right? Well let’s put on our detective hats and discover the truth here: that Apple is fucking stupid, the iPad is fucking lame, and Microsoft has been doing this for at least seventy decades longer and better. How do I know this to be the case? Because it always is.

The first Microsoft based tablet-PC was released in 1988 and was called the “Pencept” PC. It ran MS-DOS, and it was awesome. It was so awesome that I run one to this very day. It runs circles around and urinates all over the iPad for one serious, major, absolutely incredibly fundamental reason: it has access to a command prompt. I mean, Jésus Christös, how can Apple release a tablet device that lacks such a basic feature? Stop and think about it for a second – how many times a day do you use your computer’s command prompt? Exactly. That many.

Secondly, when you combine every single sale of every single tablet computer sold that features any product created by, sponsored by, or liked by Microsoft, the number is a lot larger than 2 million. This isn’t bias, this is just math. It makes Apple’s 2 million number seem like the height difference between a midgit and your average circus freak. And if you morons didn’t get it, here’s a hint: Microsoft is the circus freak.

Hi, I’m Paul Thurrott.

Posted in Uncategorized by admin on June 1, 2010

And I’m the incredibly famous and world renowned Microsoft company expert. Actually, fuck that, I’m an expert in everything technology. If it’s got bits and it’s got bytes I’m your guy. I live in Massachusetts with my beloved family and with my beloved dog, Fluffy. I also have another blog entitled the Paul Thurrott’s Supersite for Windows blog, but I frequently find myself sugar coating everything. It’s for the kids, and the publicity. Maintain a good personal image, you know? But one day I was purposely spilling coffee on my Macbook and decided, “You know what, fuck it. This is a man’s work. And this require’s a man’s blog.”
This is that blog.
So all that pussy shit stays over on WinSuperSite. Over here, you get the real deal. I’m Paul Thurrott, and this is what I think. If you disagree with me, you are wrong.